Reagan In His Own Words
Topic: Hopefully Humorous
Those of you who have read The Indy Voice for any length of time are probably aware that Ronald Reagan wasn't my favorite President. So when I received an email from someone in his fan club I couldn't resist the opportunity to retort. I was compelled to publicly respond when the last line of the email read exactly (bolding and capitalization included) like this,

"IF YOU AGREE, PLEASE FORWARD.....IF NOT JUST DELETE."

So, here goes,

Reagan: "The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."

Indy: He's right, I was terrified when he said it.

Reagan: "The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so."

Indy: Oh yeah and the facts haven't been strange bedfellows in conservative administrations.

Does Nixon's resignation and Iran-Contra refresh any memories?

This from a guy who didn't remember authorizing the sale of missiles to a "terrorist state" so that he could subsidize the "murder, rape, torture, maiming of children, cutting off arms, cutting out tongues, gouging out eyes, castration, bayoneting pregnant women in the stomach, and amputating genitals" of a so-called "freedom fighting" force.

Reagan: "I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandment's would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."

Indy: A Christian would say that the Commandments came from God not Moses but hey "there I go again" with that liberal ignorance. Either way I don't think Reagan was aware that the U.S. Congress didn't exist when Moses presented the tablets.

Reagan: "The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination."

Indy: You constantly have to remind these guys that taxpayers don't take the civil service exam because they're the boss.

Reagan: "Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."

Indy: Kind of sounds like the political philosophy of the modern conservative movement. Don't they go around eating up all the things that make this country great and when it's their turn to return the favor all we're left with is a whiner and a stinking diaper.

Reagan: "If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under."

Indy: I'm all for it except my God is evil. Can we be a nation under my God?

Reagan: "The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program."

Indy: ...and glib comments by bad actors.

Reagan: "Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops! moving, subsidize it."

Indy: His view could be summed up in a few short phrases: if it makes something blow up, secretively spend massive amounts of taxpayer dollars for it. If it keeps moving after you've tried to blow it up, deny that you blew it up and secretly spend even more money towards blowing it up. If it stops moving there's nothing saying you can't try blowing it up again.

Reagan: "No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women."

Indy: So when do we stop raising taxes to build bombs?

Reagan: "Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."

Indy: We're still waiting on that book.

Reagan: "It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."

Indy: Spoken like a true pimp daddy!