Don't DeLay, To The Slammer!
Topic: State Of The Union
Ahhh, the Republican party. If it weren't for these guys who else would try and convince us that they stand for "values" while they simultaneously anally rape the little guy at every chance they get. While I wouldn't miss them if they were gone I guess it's like they say "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't."

"The grand jury has charged that Texans for a Republican Majority and the Texas Association of Business worked together to circumvent the election code and funnel "massive amounts of secret corporate wealth" into campaigns, said Earle, the Travis County prosecutor."

Read more, DeLay Probe Winds Down; Charges May Loom

You Tell 'Em!
Topic: Retort
Right now they're 300,000 strong "grandmothers in wheelchairs and babies in strollers, military veterans in fatigues and protest veterans in tie-dye" marching on the capitol in a show of peace and patriotism. They're sending a LOUD AND CLEAR message to the heartless and ignorant masses that don't understand that not only is it patriotic to protest this war but it is your right and duty as an American to do so. If you think otherwise maybe it's you that's the traitor!

This march is just the beginning. This is just the start of the galvanization of those that love peace.

Cindy Sheehan and others like her are solidifying the silent majority in not being so silent any more. For every grandmother in a wheelchair who is willing to stand up to the elite minority powers that be, they're are handfuls of grandchildren who are going to be inspired by her courage to do the same. Those opposed to this evil war are FINALLY in the majority and they're getting restless. This is a real wake up call to all you foolish pro-war mongers that we are not going to remain silent as you destroy this great country and Earth with your ignorance and hate.

YOUR WAY DOESN'T WORK!!!

It's been repeated throughout the eons and it has failed miserably every single time. The only way that rational human beings can solve their problems is through empathy, compassion and communication.

So if you're interested in solutions and not creating more problems, try and have the courage to walk to the other side of the aisle where we value true courage, reason and compasssion. Although you will have to endure what the morons think are insults. They'll call you a peace-nik, a dove liberal and a pinko-Commie. They'll say that you hate America and they'll tell you that you don't support our troops. But who cares? They're ALWAYS wrong and they are now! You tell 'em that you do love peace, you are a member of the community and you should have a voice no matter how much anyone doesn't like it. You tell 'em your actions and words are what true Americans do and say, that you're trying to live up to the ideals of this country and that they're just windbags who wrap themselves in the flag, think freedom is choosing what color Hummer to buy and think supporting our troops means not having to sacrifice a God damn thing!

You tell 'em that you're not afraid anymore to speak what you know to be the truth. You tell 'em that there are a lot more people like you than there are like them and that you're not going to be bullied into submission by overfed, overpaid, undereducated blow hards that wouldn't know a virtue if the angel of truth yelled in their ear, "YOU'RE WRONG!!!"

So for those of you reading this that have no problem with sending our poor off to kill and die in the pursuit of killing the poor of another country and your enduring support of this policy lasts so long as you yourself don't have to make any sacrifices, just keep in mind that we're coming for you and the policies you so tenuously support. We've got your myopia sighted in our scope of reason and while you are entitled to your opinion, you will NEVER speak for us, even if a slim majority did elect you President.

Lesson In Political Science
Topic: Hopefully Humorous
(No animals were maimed or killed in during any part of this test)

DEMOCRATIC

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICANISM

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

(Lynette Strikes Back!)

Human Excellence
Topic: Personal
I've had it with the pontificators, the pundits, the ignorant and worst of all those that know better and allow complacency and fear stop them from taking action. I'm tired of being negative. I sick of wasting my energy, my thoughts and my words on those people and things not worthy of my attention. I want to talk, think and do those things that lead to human excellence.

Tonight I've had a glimpse of just that.

I had the privilege and the honor of not only listening to Cindy Sheehan and Jeff Key speak on the "Bring Them Home Now" tour, my pregnant and rather hungry wife and I had the fortuitous opportunity of sitting just 4 feet from both of them while we ate dinner at Angelo's in downtown Raleigh.

Let me tell what I think human excellence is all about. Human excellence is raising a son and instilling in him the beauty of sacrificing for others. Human excellence is not caving in upon yourself when that same son makes the ultimate sacrifice for his country. Human excellence is finding the strength to pull yourself together so that you can not only stand on your own 2 feet again but so that you can muster the courage to stare down and stand up to a great big lying Goliath. Human excellence is forsaking what's in your best interest and your better judgment by lying down in a ditch so that not one more mother experiences the same tragedy. Human excellence is looking within and realizing the power inherent in 1 little soft-spoken Mom from California.

The human excellence that Cindy Sheehan embodies is simply put, unselfish action.

Cindy you are an inspiration and your strength of character and soul are utterly admirable. Me and my wife hope to see you in Washington, D.C. on the 24th of September.

For more information, Bring Them Home Now Tour

Just Remember: "INSANE GOVERNMENT"
Topic: State Of The Union
Hat tip for CrooksAndLiars.com for running this article, IMPEACH BUSH NOW by Paul Craig Roberts.

What CrooksAndLiars.com doesn't mention is this guy's resume as a REAL conservative and it's an extensive resume at that!

If there were to be a comprehensive book on the history of the Bush administration this 1 article could be the table of contents, the full contents and the index as far as I'm concerned. I could not have said it better. So straight and so to the point, I agree "IMPEACH BUSH NOW!!!"

Exodus 14:15
Topic: Retort
Please read this article entitled A God With Whom I Am Not Familiar by Tim Wise before reading The Indy Voice's response.

Mr. Wise,

I too am unfamiliar with the God with which your lunchtime acquaintances spoke of. I don't listen to Rush Limbaugh, don't wear Brooks Brothers, don't drive a Hummer2, don't support the war in Iraq and don't feel sanctimonious enough to reify the suffering of others anywhere, for any reason. I do believe that we should all work in whatever capacity we can to do something to alleviate the suffering of those in New Orleans, IMMEDIATELY.

However, I do think that on 1 point your fellow Mexican-food loving friends, notwithstanding their perverse perception of reality, may have some validity in their statements.

Think about the waiter or waitress, cook or owner of Mexican descent working at La Paz. I want you to ask them 2 questions if you go back. The first question is "how did you come to this country?" The second is "why did you come to this country?"

I think that you'll find that the answers to those questions may cause you to rethink condemning those that would question why someone would not leave an area doomed to destruction by mother nature. You see, I have asked those questions of every person from Mexico that I have had the privilege to work with. The answers are usually varied but they share a common thread. The first answer is where you will find the most variety. Some walk through border crossings with forged I.D., others come by saving up what little money they have, often for years and pay another to bring them across the border, usually in the cramped underbelly of a pick-up truck. One story that I remember particularly well by a guy by the name of Jose was how his friend came here by being placed in the bottom of some type of truck where plywood was nailed over a row of people and another row of people lined up on top of them and they were again covered with plywood, kind of like human sardines, 2 rows deep.

The answer to the 2nd question is always the same, "to make money," but all that really means is that they will do whatever it takes to support their families and friends. These guys travel sometimes over 3000 miles under some of the worst traveling conditions imaginable with only the clothes on their backs and whatever money they've been able to scrounge up. They're usually flat broke when they arrive at their destination, hungry, have no place to live, no job and because they usually don't speak English their prospects for landing a job on Wall Street are about the same as George W. Bush winning the Nobel Peace prize. They usually leave behind a wife and kids and the rest of their families for up to 4 years at a time before they go back. Jose at age 52 and after being in this country for years told me that his sister made up a story about their mother being sick just so that his family could see him again. These guys come from some of the poorest places in the world. They don't have the luxury of a public bus or train and many of them die while walking through the desert on their way here.

Although they do sound like Supermen these guys can't make their way here without the assistance of another human being. In addition to their families, their communities in the U.S. and Mexico support their trip to the U.S. So I ask why wasn't it possible in the most mobile society on Earth for a community of poor but able-bodied Americans to come together to find a solution to take each and every occupant of New Orleans just 30 miles out of harms way?

If we're going to play the blame game for what occurred before and after the hurricane struck in New Orleans, we can say that the President, FEMA, the Governor, the Mayor and yes, those that choose to stay, are all contributors to the suffering and all should share some part of the blame. We can say that this community that is the United States, the state of Louisiana and New Orleans are to blame for their failure to have compassion for the frail, the sick and the young by not using their able-bodies and their capable minds to help those less fortunate. Or we can go a step further and say that our culture of holding up the almighty dollar as our familiar God will always ultimately fail us.

So I respectfully ask that you don't attempt to kick my lily-white ass when I have compassion for the suffering of others but still wonder why they didn't find a way to help themselves?

He Can't Handle The Truth!
Topic: Hopefully Humorous
Ralph Nader, Al Gore and George W. Bush go to a fitness spa for some fun. After a stimulating, healthy lunch, all three decide to visit the men's room and they find a strange-looking gent sitting at the entrance who says,
"Welcome to the gentlemen's room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror that, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be rewarded with your wish. But, be warned, if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of Nothingness for all eternity!"

The men quickly entered, and upon finding the mirror, Ralph Nader steps up and says, "I think I'm the most truthful of us three," and he suddenly finds the keys to a brand new Bentley in his hands.

Al Gore steps up and says "I think I'm the most ambitious of us three," and in an instant, he was surrounded by a pile of money to fund his next Presidential Campaign.

Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, George W. Bush looks into the mirror and says,"I think...", and is promptly sucked into the mirror.

(Lynette strikes again!)

In A Nutshell...
Topic: Hopefully Humorous
How Many Members of the Bush Administration Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb

4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored
to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs

5. One to give a billion dollar, no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a
janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner:
Light Bulb Change Accomplished

7. One administration insider to resign and write a
book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in
the dark

8. One insider to viciously smear #7

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on
how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing
policy all along

10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the
difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country

Let's see, there's Bush, Cheney, Rice, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Libby, Armitage, Zoellick, Bolton and Rove. That about rounds it out.

(Thanks Lynette!)

Short Memory
Topic: State Of The Union
I'm just curious what it's gonna take for a Democrat to step up to the plate to tell the nation that the present state of affairs is exactly what you get when you hire a Republican to do anything. When will they explain to the American people in plain English that Republican leadership in modern times has been inept, ineffectual, corrupt, heartless, immoral and hypocritical. What I'm trying to say is that it's been pretty bad.

Just look at some recent events,

Republican response to 9/11 - Smoke and Mirrors
Economy - Doldrums
Taxes - Low (IF YOU'RE RICH!)
War - Losing
WMD - None
Debt - Great
No Child Left Behind - Contradiction in Terms
Family Values - BOMBS AWAY!
Christian Values - Christ who? (SEE ABOVE)
Schiavo - PAWN
Decisive Leadership - Where?
Lies - A plenty
Osama Bin Laden - Saddam Hussein
Katrina - VACATION!!!

I believe that the American people are smart, I just think they have short memories. They should be reminded of the Reagan days filled with paranoid delusional fear, the increased burden on the middle class and poor, the enormous debt and his high crimes and misdemeanors. The American public keep voting for these incompetent crooks because they keep forgetting that the Republican party has over a 40 year demonstrated history of these offenses. Do I need to bring out Nixon?

Why don't we remind the American people of what they'll be missing when they kick these losers to the curb?

A Taste of What's To Come
Topic: State Of The Union
Last night my grandfather had a massive heart attack. We took him to the local emergency room. The only thing that kept him alive was a ventilator. The doctor told us that he could survive but that with the forecast of thunderstorms in the area he might not make it. We asked the doctor what bearing thunderstorms had to do with our grandfather's prognosis. The doctor said that if the hospital was to lose power my grandfather could die because the hospital lacked an alternative energy source.

We immediately called another hospital and asked if they had alternative energy. Their answer was sure, any hospital built within the last 50 years and anyone with just half a brain in their head wouldn't design a hospital any other way. We called other hospitals and their answer was the same.

We couldn't figure out why on earth this particular hospital lacked an alternative energy source, after all, they have the technology and the money to implement one. They've also known about the need to have an alternative energy source for over 50 years.

While this scenario is completely fictional the specter of an entire economy hinging upon 1 source of fuel is an even scarier proposition but that is our reality. Every product or service that our country produces is directly tied to our insane dependence on oil. In much the same way that my fictional grandfather would die in the hospital that lacked an alternative energy source, our economy will die without oil.

Politicians, especially our President, are more than keenly aware of this catastrophe waiting to happen. Do you see why it's more than likely that the war in Iraq is being fought directly related to oil? It has nothing to do with the President trying to bring oil to the masses at a couple of pennies savings. It has everything to do with our economy, our livelihoods and our way of life as we now know it. Does that sound like a more pressing reason to invade a country that NEVER posed a military or terrorist threat to ours?

Those of us that take the time to understand the issues and value the truth have been well aware of this ridiculous dependence for over 50 years. Considering the immediate implications on human life it would seem as almost an ancillary benefit that removing this dependency could also stop poisoning the environment.

How's this for a solution; state, county and town planners take the perspective that just because automobiles are ubiquitous we still need to plan communities that provide easy access through proper planning. Mass transportation to work, play and shopping resources should be considered essential. Every home built from this day forward should be mandated to be capable of supporting its energy usage completely off the grid and should not use fossil fuels. Legislation should be passed mandating that essential government services should have redundant alternative power. A country wide initiative should be started to promote academic, governmental and corporate innovations with the stated goal of creating multiple forms of decentralized energy sources. And every form of transportation should immediately be required to dramaticly increase the number of miles per gallon with the 10 year goal of removing fossil fuel burning vehicles from our roads.

The benefits to these solutions are almost infinite and without these initiatives there is going to come a time when we will look back on the days that hurricanes squeezed supply and we will long for them. This problem is not going to go away and it is only going to get worse. We can wake up as a nation and do something about it before a major disaster occurs or we can wait, allow the status quo to remain the status quo and slowly or rapidly and violently have our worse nightmares become our daily existence.